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  #1 (permalink)  
Old 06-30-2009, 08:41 PM
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Default Carnut, what have you been up to?

I thought it was warm where you are. I don't understand your snuggly. Isn't it warm enough in Phoenix?

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Old 06-30-2009, 08:44 PM
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Default Re: Carnut, what have you been up to?

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Old 06-30-2009, 08:46 PM
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Default Re: Carnut, what have you been up to?

Carnut likes the boobies. What's wrong with that??


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Old 06-30-2009, 09:36 PM
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Default Re: Carnut, what have you been up to?

he was getting some goat milk.....
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Old 07-01-2009, 09:52 PM
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Default Re: Carnut, what have you been up to?

Looks like the Gypsy girl that kidnapped me sometime ago.
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Old 07-01-2009, 09:56 PM
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Default Re: Carnut, what have you been up to?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Carnut View Post
Looks like the Gypsy girl that kidnapped me sometime ago.
So, when will this portion of the family history be recounted?????
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Old 07-02-2009, 05:08 AM
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Old 07-02-2009, 08:29 AM
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Default Re: Carnut, what have you been up to?



I guess CARNUT loves all kinds of NUTS....

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  #9 (permalink)  
Old 07-02-2009, 10:02 PM
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Default Re: Carnut, what have you been up to?

Quote:
Originally Posted by twobjshelbys View Post
So, when will this portion of the family history be recounted?????
How about now.


One spring day, I was sitting on my favorite limb of this majestic old oak tree, soaking up the sun and munching on last years stash of acorns. The breeze was gently blowing, bringing with it the scent of spring flowers. Ah, it was perfect day, then they showed up.

They pulled in under my tree with their big fancy wagon. The music they were playing was loud and lively. They were dancing and carrying on so. The women were unloading the wagons, then putting up the horses. Soon they pulled out this big pot and plucked some poor chicken and tossed him, poor fellow.

Well, I can tell you, the sight of the poor chicken got my attention. I was afraid to move. After some length of time, they pulled that chicken out the pot and ate him. Horror of horrors. They played more music and danced around the fire late into the night. I was plumb tuckered out and fell asleep right on that branch. I slept and slept.

I was awoken in the morning by pan banging and other noises. The men were up and they had guns. Crap, I thought. What are they going to do with those things. Then it happened, one of those gun toting Gypsies spotted me. I ran up the branch, then down the branch.

BANG! BANG!

All of the sudden, it got dark. My head felt like it was on fire. Alas, I was a goner, I was going in that stupid pot with the poor chicken. I didn't care for carrots either. Well, they might have got me, but they would never find my nuts. I hid them well.

I remember waking up to the sound of horse hooves and wagon wheels crunching the hard ground. I felt I was in this nice warm bed. It was so comfortable and warm and sweet smelling. I did not want to open my eyes. I just laid there, it felt so good.

Finally, I just had to open my eyes. I looked up and saw the shining dark eyes of a young Gypsy girl. She was so pretty and I was safely in her bossum. I thought maybe I was in heaven, but something just didn't feel right. I know, I had been kidnapped.

The weeks and months went by, we visited other Gypsy camps and I was passed around from bossum to bossum. What a life. Summer turned to autumn and winter was on its way. I noticed I wasn't getting fed as much as I used to and the Gypsies weren't eating like they used to.

Several days went by and no one ate.

At last, the pot was brought out, filled with water and a fire started under it. The pot began to boil. After a while, everyone got in line. Oh boy I thought, we are going to eat at last. Then I noticed something strange, the Gypsies were putting things in the pot as they approached it. What the heck is all this about I wondered. Then it hit me. Almost too late by the way. As the young Gypsy girl approached the pot, she snatched me by the tail and tore me from her bossum. Man, I really liked it there.

I knew I was destined for that pot and I wasn't going. I thought, "How could this beautiful girl that I gave so much pleasure too, treat me like this?' So I bit her (take your choice and insert word) and jumped from her grasp. I dove into the wagon, out the other side and onto the top. From there I jumped high into the tree we were parked under and found a tiny hole to squeeze into.

Well this caused quite a comotion, people had torches and guns and knives and who knows what else. They peered into the tree looking for me. They search the wagons and bossums for me. I was nowhere to be found. I was safe but cold. (It was winter remember). I was shivering. I missed that warm bossum for sure, but I was alive. Finally I feel asleep.

Morning came. Stange, it was warm again. I must have slept for a long time. Oh well, I sat on the limb of this familiar looking acorn tree munching on some acorns I found. I was glad to be alive, what a time I spent with the Gypsies. True, I was kidnapped and almost eaten. There were perks.

About midmorning, I hear the neigh of horse, the crunching of stones and see a wagon coming. Oh shit, I thought. I went back inside the hollow of that tree and stayed there. YUP, I had enough of being a ladies man. Sometimes its just a little better to be careful.

and that's the truth.
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  #10 (permalink)  
Old 07-03-2009, 06:10 AM
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Default Re: Carnut, what have you been up to?

Wow carnut you were one lucky squirrel.....I trust that young Gypsy girl was of legal age though......
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Old 07-03-2009, 06:57 AM
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Default Re: Carnut, what have you been up to?

wow..i just had to do a double take....thats the longest post by the Nut i've ever seen...
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Old 07-03-2009, 07:44 AM
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Default Re: Carnut, what have you been up to?

Quote:
Originally Posted by gr8snkbite View Post
wow..i just had to do a double take....thats the longest post by the Nut i've ever seen...
Boy you've missed a lot then....all the lost "attic family diary" stories...
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Old 07-03-2009, 07:45 AM
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Default Re: Carnut, what have you been up to?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Birdman View Post
Boy you've missed a lot then....all the lost "attic family diary" stories...
its been so long..probably just dont remember them...
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  #14 (permalink)  
Old 07-03-2009, 07:57 AM
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Default Re: Carnut, what have you been up to?

Quote:
Originally Posted by gr8snkbite View Post
its been so long..probably just dont remember them...
I think you were away at sea then.....
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Old 07-03-2009, 08:05 AM
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Default Re: Carnut, what have you been up to?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Birdman View Post
I think you were away at sea then.....
probably so.....that'll never happen again....unless its a pleasure cruise..
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It follows that as certain that night succeeds the day, that without a decisive naval force, we can do nothing definitive and with it, everything honorable and glorious - Circa 1781 G.W.
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  #16 (permalink)  
Old 07-03-2009, 08:15 AM
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Default Re: Carnut, what have you been up to?

Quote:
Originally Posted by gr8snkbite View Post
wow..i just had to do a double take....thats the longest post by the Nut i've ever seen...
Will he get word count instead of post count for this?
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Old 07-03-2009, 08:25 AM
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Default Re: Carnut, what have you been up to?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Birdman View Post
I think you were away at sea then.....
Did I ever tell you about the time I fought pirates in the Carribean ?
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Old 07-03-2009, 09:19 AM
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Default Re: Carnut, what have you been up to?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Carnut View Post
Did I ever tell you about the time I fought pirates in the Carribean ?
Don't remember that story...please do tell.
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  #19 (permalink)  
Old 07-03-2009, 03:23 PM
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Default Re: Carnut, what have you been up to?

you were carrying beans?
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Old 07-05-2009, 01:37 PM
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Default Re: Carnut, what have you been up to?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Birdman View Post
Don't remember that story...please do tell.
Let's see, I'll have to make it.............er............a ...........recall what happened.
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