Tommy Guns Hideout

[Johnny Dangerously]

Birdman,

One of your relatives has decided that he doesn't like the rain & can't figure out how to get out of it. He's making a mess on my deck.

I think it's a blue bird.

[Johnny Dangerously]

TRUTH BE TOLD


Many of you will recall that on July 8, 1947, a little over 60 years ago, witnesses claim that an unidentified flying object (UFO) with five aliens aboard, crashed onto a sheep and cattle ranch just outside Roswell, New Mexico. This is a well known incident that many say has long been covered up by the U.S. Air Force and other federal agencies and organizations.

However, what you may NOT know is that in the month of April 1948, nine months after that historic day, the following people were born:

Albert A. Gore, Jr.
Hillary Rodham
John F. Kerry
William J. Clinton
Howard Dean
Nancy Pelosi
Dianne Feinstein
Charles E. Schumer
Barbara Boxer

See what happens when aliens breed with sheep?

I certainly hope this bit of information clears up a lot of things for you. It did for me.

[Carnut]

Originally Posted by Johnny Dangerously

TRUTH BE TOLD


Many of you will recall that on July 8, 1947, a little over 60 years ago, witnesses claim that an unidentified flying object (UFO) with five aliens aboard, crashed onto a sheep and cattle ranch just outside Roswell, New Mexico. This is a well known incident that many say has long been covered up by the U.S. Air Force and other federal agencies and organizations.

However, what you may NOT know is that in the month of April 1948, nine months after that historic day, the following people were born:

Albert A. Gore, Jr.
Hillary Rodham
John F. Kerry
William J. Clinton
Howard Dean
Nancy Pelosi
Dianne Feinstein
Charles E. Schumer
Barbara Boxer

See what happens when aliens breed with sheep?

I certainly hope this bit of information clears up a lot of things for you. It did for me.

That's incredible, now it all makes sense. RLMAO Baahahhhh

[Joe G]

Good one brother!!

[Johnny Dangerously]

Originally Posted by Joe G

Good one brother!!

Thanks. I've got more.

[Joe G]

Originally Posted by Johnny Dangerously

Thanks. I've got more.

Don't doubt it one bit!!

[Johnny Dangerously]

Ok, if you insist.

For those who slept through World History 101...... here is a condensed
version.

Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic
hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer
and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter.

The two most important events in all of history were:
1. The invention of beer, and
2. The invention of the wheel. (The wheel was invented to get man to the
beer, and the beer to the man.)

These facts formed the foundation of modern civilization and together
were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct
subgroups:
1. Liberals
2. Conservatives.

Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning
of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented
yet, so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to
be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages
were formed.

Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to BBQ at night
while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known
as the Conservative movement.

Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live
off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly BBQ's and doing the
sewing, fetching, and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the
Liberal movement.

Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. The rest became
known as girlie-men.

Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats,
the invention of group therapy and group hugs, the evolution of the
Hollywood actor, and the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to
divide all the meat and beer that conservatives provided.

Over the years, Conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most
powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by
the jackass.

Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer
white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their
beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare.
Another interesting evolutionary side note: most of liberal women have
higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers, personal
injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group
therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter rule
because it wasn't fair to make the pitcher also bat.

Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat and still provide
for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys,
lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police
officers, corporate executives, athletes, Marines, and generally anyone
who works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire other
conservatives who want to work for a living.

Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers
and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans
are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals
remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America . They
crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying
to get more for nothing.

Here ends today's lesson in world history... It should be noted that a
liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily respond to the above before
forwarding it.

A conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolute
truth of this history that it will be forwarded immediately to other
true believers, and to more liberals... just to tick them off.

Have a great day... "In God We Trust"

[TOMMY GUN]

Originally Posted by MadMax

Reply #400! Nice going TG!

Looks like my portayal of the Bad family was a hit.


Looks like Joe has finally realized I have some quality to my posts...now I have to work on Orf.



And last but not least I am still able to post on all sites that I am a member of.

And I am not trying to be a thorn in their side, I'm just making sure they arent' talking about me behind my back like you all do.


:mafia20smile:

[TOMMY GUN]

JD is my hero!





:mafia20smile:

[Carnut]

I took me a little while to forward the above, I was laughing too hard.

Whoops, you're not a liberal are you?

[Johnny Dangerously]

I'm voting for T.J Hooker for President.

[Johnny Dangerously]

Originally Posted by Carnut

I took me a little while to forward the above, I was laughing too hard.

Whoops, you're not a liberal are you?

Bite your tongue mister.

[Johnny Dangerously]

Here's a non-political one.

[Carnut]

Originally Posted by Johnny Dangerously

Bite your tongue mister.

OK,...........ouch............that's not funny.

[Joe G]

Love Boston Legal!!

[BADGIRL500]

Originally Posted by Joe G

Love Boston Legal!!

[Joe G]

Where's TG tonight??

Someone send him out on a mission?

[Birdman]

Originally Posted by Joe G

Where's TG tonight??

Someone send him out on a mission?

Probably on the "mini" forums

[mastersmech1]

Your a South Jersey guy? I thought you were from VA...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HX1766Hmdpg

[TOMMY GUN]

Originally Posted by Joe G

Where's TG tonight??

Someone send him out on a mission?

Originally Posted by Birdman

Probably on the "mini" forums

I was at an important Mini meet.

Pics later tonight.

This morning the Mini Cooper's are meeting again.

Co Pilot is going to be going across the Chesapeake-Bay-Bridge Tunnel w/ a bunch of other Mini Cooper's for a photo shoot by a helicopter!

Is that cool or what? :mafia20smile:

She could end up having her car in a commercial for North American Mini, the people sponsoring these events.




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