YOUR FAVORITE RECIPES HERE

[Johnny Lupara]

Originally Posted by Carnut

In about a week those little urchins will be banging on my tree looking for candy or whatever gooey crap I can find. Whenever they come they mess up the yard and threaten to cut my tree down unless I give into their demands.

To protect myself, I am building some boiling caldron platforms and need a receipe for burning oil that won't wash off.

Anyone?

..let's hope its only your tree this time....

1.Catch a foodborne illness, use their jack-o-lantern as a toilet
2.Throw that crappy pumpkin through their bay window
3.Fire a wad of 50 bottle rockets into their shed or garage
4.Replace their brake fluid with Crystal Light
5.Trap their pet in a van and give it an obvious sex change
6.Paint their doorway with curdled pig's blood
7.Drop buckets of baking soda and vinegar down the chimney
8.Leave a flaming bag of entrails on the doorstep, ring bell
9.Call their phone, when they answer whisper, "I'm in the house!"
10.Sacrifice an inflatable love goat on their porch
11.Knock up their daughter, then refuse to pay child support
12.Burn a massive scarecrow on their front lawn
13.Rig up a non-fatal candy corn cluster bomb
14.Use a hot glue gun to seal all their windows and doors shut
15.Break into the basement and cause an odorless gas leak
16.Startle them by dressing up as their dead grandma
17.Force them to swallow the refuse from your ear candling
18.Put a razor blade in an apple and accuse them to the police
19.Break in and throw a black cat on them while they're taking a dump
20.Mummify them in a giant ball of 3-ply toilet paper
21.Drug a rabid raccoon and leave it in their glove compartment
22.Sneak a few senior citizens inside the house to stink up the place
23.Stuff their air conditioner full of carrot juice & bacon bits
24.Mess up their vinyl siding by covering it in bloody butt prints
25.Shoot a dart laced with Ben Gay right into their necks

Disclaimer:
This list is for entertainment purposes only.
Do not drug a rabid raccoon without your doctor's permission.

[Johnny Lupara]

here's some retaliatory treats to hand out...

1.School supplies
2.Fat free snacks, like Goldfish crackers or pretzels
3.Homemade popcorn balls with bits of cat hair stuck on the side
4.Homemade caramel apples (which are actually kind of fun to throw)
5.Meat on a stick with little bones in it
6.Travel toothbrush and mini-toothpaste
7.Religious propaganda
8.Cheap ass 8-packs of generic Chinese crayons
9.Little paper bags full of dirty nickels & unwrapped gum
10.Individual used women's shoes that are like 30 yrs old
11.Midget granola bars with no chocolate or candy in them
12.Loose pastel Peanut M&Ms from four Easters ago
13.Cans of warm non-alcoholic beer
14.A couple of melted Sucrets from a leather jacket pocket
15.Miniature Hickory Farms meat and cheese logs
16.Worn out tennis balls that the dog has slobbered all over
17.Bouillon cubes
18.A runny slice of crappy pecan pie that you have to sit there and eat
19.Tiny shampoo samples from some hotel they stayed at
20.A fun-sized Milky Way with a big rusty needle sticking through it
21.Giant cans of soggy string beans from Costco
22.Crumbs from the bottom of a box of Lucky Charms
23.Handfuls of Sweet & Low packets from an elderly lady's purse
24.Rice cakes with globs of flavorless yogurt on them
25.Circus peanuts. Nobody wants to gnaw on that orange wad!

[Carnut]

I really had my heart set on the boiling oil.

I suppose I could ask the rabbit family next door if I could have some pellets but I would bet they have plans for them.

I think I'll start looking under the couch cushions.

[cheftjpeck]

:hey: these aren't recipes..^^^^....

[Alloy Dave]

Originally Posted by Father Guido Sarducci

I likea normal foods, pizza, spaghetti, capellini pasta, lasagna, seafood portofino, etc.

chef, thanks for the response on chutney...I'll try it next time.

Now, what does "portofino" mean?

[Alloy Dave]

Originally Posted by Johnny Lupara

here's some retaliatory treats to hand out...
25.Circus peanuts. Nobody wants to gnaw on that orange wad!

My mom loves circus peanuts.

P.S. My mom doesn't have any teeth.

[Johnny Lupara]

Originally Posted by cheftjpeck

:hey: these aren't recipes..^^^^....

.but carnut started it.......

..see, squirrels are always at the bottom of things......




..I have no idea what the idea was behind the comic, but it seemed to fit here ok enough....

[cheftjpeck]

Originally Posted by Alloy Dave

chef, thanks for the response on chutney...I'll try it next time.

Now, what does "portofino" mean?

portofino is a village in italy.( I believe on the province of genoa..) .most of those villages are fishing villages ..so that used in food would mean in the style of portofino: which that village is known for its seafood so I would assume it would have loads of seafood that are from that region (shrimp, scallops, sea urchin etc..)

[Alloy Dave]

Originally Posted by cheftjpeck

portofino is a village in italy.( I believe on the province of genoa..) .most of those villages are fishing villages ..so that used in food would mean in the style of portofino: which that village is known for its seafood so I would assume it would have loads of seafood that are from that region (shrimp, scallops, sea urchin etc..)

Boy I'm learning a lot in this thread...I'll be more like Ted Baxter than Bill Murray (think Caddyshack) in no time.

[cheftjpeck]

Originally Posted by Alloy Dave

Boy I'm learning a lot in this thread...I'll be more like Ted Baxter than Bill Murray (think Caddyshack) in no time.

[Alloy Dave]

Originally Posted by cheftjpeck

[Darkside]

Originally Posted by Carnut

In about a week those little urchins will be banging on my tree looking for candy or whatever gooey crap I can find. Whenever they come they mess up the yard and threaten to cut my tree down unless I give into their demands.

To protect myself, I am building some boiling caldron platforms and need a receipe for burning oil that won't wash off.

Anyone?

Carnut - Here is a recipe for homemade Napalm that is sure to keep the kids away in the future...

1- Start with a large container of gas. Cheap 87 octane will do.
2- Mix in styrafoam pieces. The styrafoam will desolve and turn the gas into a jelly like substance as it is added.
3- Light and serve as needed.

This substance will stick to whatever it is put on and burns quite nicely.

This recipe is for recreational purposes only and I do not advocate its use.

[Johnny Dangerously]

Originally Posted by Darkside

Carnut - Here is a recipe for homemade Napalm that is sure to keep the kids away in the future...

1- Start with a large container of gas. Cheap 87 octane will do.
2- Mix in styrafoam pieces. The styrafoam will desolve and turn the gas into a jelly like substance as it is added.
3- Light and serve as needed.

This substance will stick to whatever it is put on and burns quite nicely.

This recipe is for recreational purposes only and I do not advocate its use.

`

[Joe G]

Originally Posted by Darkside

Carnut - Here is a recipe for homemade Napalm that is sure to keep the kids away in the future...

1- Start with a large container of gas. Cheap 87 octane will do.
2- Mix in styrafoam pieces. The styrafoam will desolve and turn the gas into a jelly like substance as it is added.
3- Light and serve as needed.

This substance will stick to whatever it is put on and burns quite nicely.

This recipe is for recreational purposes only and I do not advocate its use.

-

[Alloy Dave]

[Johnny Dangerously]

Originally Posted by Darkside

Carnut - Here is a recipe for homemade Napalm that is sure to keep the kids away in the future...

1- Start with a large container of gas. Cheap 87 octane will do.
2- Mix in styrafoam pieces. The styrafoam will desolve and turn the gas into a jelly like substance as it is added.
3- Light and serve as needed.

This substance will stick to whatever it is put on and burns quite nicely.

This recipe is for recreational purposes only and I do not advocate its use.

Recreational use napalm? It'll probably be in the same vending machine as medicinal marijuana in CA.


`

[iceman]

You know I had to have an arguement with my neighbor about that....he says it is not illegal because of it having a medicinal use....it is a "controled substance". I say like any controled substance it is illegal with out the perscrition though right? Then he never answers and goes on to tell me MI is trying tomake it legal and in Denver you can carry a limited amount on you and it is not illegal which I replied that I don't know if that is true or not because we live in Indiana and it is illegal here!

I really like my pot head neighbor but come on......it's not legal! End of story.

[Johnny Dangerously]

Originally Posted by iceman

You know I had to have an arguement with my neighbor about that....he says it is not illegal because of it having a medicinal use....it is a "controled substance". I say like any controled substance it is illegal with out the perscrition though right? Then he never answers and goes on to tell me MI is trying tomake it legal and in Denver you can carry a limited amount on you and it is not illegal which I replied that I don't know if that is true or not because we live in Indiana and it is illegal here!

I really like my pot head neighbor but come on......it's not legal! End of story.

I agree whole heartedly.



`

[iceman]

then he finally did too but now we have to hear about how it should be legalized all the time. Which I honestly don't care either way but as of today it isn't....then i get the "either is speeding but you do that" to which I "reply 55 stay alive" and just like won't admit he smokes a bail of dope a day i don't speed

[Alloy Dave]

Originally Posted by iceman

I really like my pot head neighbor but come on......it's not legal! End of story.

I didn't know Cheech lived next to you.